Mother.

I tend to forget to inform everyone about current events going on in my life and felt I the obligation to share a big event coming up. My mother and I will be presenting a course for The Virtual Institute Of Genealogical Research on Sat, June 20th and 27th. The course is titled “Verifying the Family Legend of Native American Ancestry”. If you are interested in attending please visit http://vigrgenealogy.com/schedule/fogarty-native/.

More of the adoption saga:

I left off yesterday having made contact with my biological grandmother. She was very kind and inviting and we spoke for several minutes before I felt the need to ask about my biological mother. As I stated in an earlier post, I had no intention of going this far with my search. I was comfortable and confident with my ability to cope with all the revelations but it still was so foreign to be in the real position of knowing the answers. It was such a simple question that was so hard to ask. “Do you know where my mother is?” A moment of silence.

“Yes. She is in the other room. Would you like to speak to her?”

Once again. Paralysis.

“Yes…I would.” I waited for a moment. Another voice came on the line.

“Hi there. Nice to finally meet you. I am [name withheld].”

“Nice to meet you.  I’m Rick.” That’s when I fell apart. Tears. She instructed me to breathe. We laughed.

“I have a question. Are you happy? Do you have a good family?”

I gave her a glimpse into my life and told her I was happy. “Do you have any questions?”

I asked about her life, her children, her family. I asked her about my biological father. She said they had not spoken in years but her brother was friends with him and they played golf with each other. She said he would be surprised but thrilled to hear from me.

She lived in a different state and was in town (where they grew up) to help take care of her mother who had some severe health issues. She told me she was doing good but had trouble with substance abuse and other issues in her life. I asked her about some health issues that I needed information on. She was very candid and answered all the questions I had. She told me about my biological half-brother.

An interesting part of my life was growing up knowing I was Indian but not having a lot of information about it. I knew I was Muscogee Creek but I wasn’t raised in cultural immersion. I read all I could about the culture growing up. I knew the history of the tribe, customs, and stories. I asked my biological mother about it and she informed me of the family history through my biological maternal line and some of the accomplishments many of my female Creek ancestors had made. She informed me that they did not carry $20 right side up (I’ll let you guys solve that one). She asked me if I was on the roll and I told her I wasn’t. She offered to help me enroll if I needed it.

Side note: I am enrolled in the Muscogee Creek nation but that is a future post that has a whole new set of stories.

We talked for an hour and a half. We ended the conversation by exchanging information and the promise of sending pictures.

Throughout this whole conversation, my mom sat beside me. She wrote down information she could pickup from our conversation and so did I. She was there the whole time with support and encouragement. At any point in this whole search,if my mom said she wasn’t comfortable with this I would have stopped. I explained before that all parties should have a say. I respect my mom and her feelings. I was lucky enough that she was there to encourage me and never hide my adoption from me. She allowed me to wear it as a badge of pride and I did just that.

Since I had found success with the maternal side of the search, I decided I might try my biological paternal grandmother. I searched Google a bit more and found a business number for the family business. I built up the courage and dialed the number. There I was again. A female voice answered. “Hello?”

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One thought on “Mother.

  1. How wonderful that she was receptive and happy to hear from you! Just think of the questions you were able to answer for HER, as well as for yourself. She surely had thought of you often–if not daily–for all those years. Loving these daily chapters of your journey. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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